Job Requirements I wonder about

I have the sneaking feeling that some of the job requirements were written by Dilbert or a random requirements generator (“For Business Analyst requirements click here”) Plateform Tester My WordPress editor does not even think there is such thing as Plateform.

jobrequirementHR at its finest.

jobrequirement What were they thinking?

Knowledge of Java and C# (C Sharp) And I always wondered what the # sign meant.

Flexible and able to alter habits on short notice Change takes time.

Self starter and able to work independently as well as within a team environment to achieve business goals & objectives
Alienating co-workers is probably not a good idea. This is requirement for most jobs. Ranks somewhere with ability to breathe.

Technical Experience:
► HL7 v2/v3, NCPDP, HIPAA, 21CFR part11 and 820, ISO13485, ISO14971, ISO 62304, ISO 9001, Medical Device Directive 93/42/EEC, Medi-Span, Facts & Comparisons, First DataBank
► Agile (SCRUM, XP), Six Sigma(DFSS, CTQ, FMEA, FTA), Kaizen/Kanban, RUP, UML, BPMN, JAD/RAD, PMBOK, UAT/BAT/CAR
► Rational Suite (Requisite Pro, Clear Case, Clear Quest), DOORS, JIRA, Confluence, MS Visio, MS Team Foundation Server, MS Visual Studio, MS SharePoint, Win Runner, Load Runner, Rational Robot
► Oracle SQL, MS SQL, Java, XML, C#.Net, C, C++, Visual Basic, VB.Net, PowerBuilder, ASP.Net, SaaS

Requirements for an analyst. And I don’t even know what half of the terms mean ok 1/3. They need someone with ‘C’? You have to be older or an engineer.

Excel Expert: 2 month contract, Hours: 9am – 5pm
Pay: $17/hr
I know jobs are hard to get, but that is not too far above the min wage

Data Specialist at IBM Canada in Campbridge, ON Goggled it just to be sure there is no Campbride, ON. I am feeling so much better about my typos now. developer/lead Must be physically able to lift up to 50 lbs unassisted. Must have at least 1 year warehouse or relevant experience
Must have a valid driver’s license
Have never seen requirements like these

Engage with stakeholders at all levels of the organization Unless the company is small, you are not likely to engage with a VP, CIO or CO. Strangely enough this requirement is often used by large corporations.

Participate in the solutions to meet strategic objectives that comply with the corporate  (sic. That was the whole sentence)

Interact with internal/external partners/stakeholders on regular basis Job Qualifications Somehow I do not feel too terrible any more when I discover after I sent an email, that it was not perfect. The only problem of course is that my emails have my name attached to it, this is anonymous

Thrive in a fast-paced, results oriented environment, and have worked within the structure of a large organization
Large Organization: Hectic and stressful no doubt, fast paced not so much

– Knowledge of LANs, Windows 2000, Windows XP
– Able to work in a fast-paced, rapidly changing environment
How fast can it change if they are still running Windows XP and Windows 2000? Wonder which version of Office they are using. As a user why do I have to know anything about a LAN anyways? All I have to do is remember my many passwords

Experience with Business Intelligence tools C#,, SOA
There must be a comma missing after ‘tools’

Ensure defect free programming by testing and debugging using available/appropriate tools and participate in reviewing peer coding
Bug free programs, sounds nice. I know a programmer who produced almost perfect code. He also got fired, because it took too long